Your Ideal Life

Over the past year, I have created a blog with posts to lay a foundation for helping others change. I’ve also been working on books to do the same thing. It’s been great to hear from so many people, from old friends, mentors, and family members who were really encouraged by those words. With many of the topics, I feel that it’s time to help others get to where I feel I am. Where is that you ask? At peace.

I wish I could tell you that you will wake up one day, read something like this, walk out and all of life’s problems will be solved. But it will take some time; it’s a process. Every day, I read through tons — and I mean tons — of things on motivation, personal growth, and self-growth. When I started this venture in my life, it was not to be the next guru. I do not want to be a big-time celebrity doing this, nor am I looking to become the next billionaire. I truly want to help others reach a peaceful place in their lives.

A few years ago I was going through tough times. It was then that my life was torn down and rebuilt. There are a number of people I’ve met through the years who have said things that helped me in pursuing my own peace and the great life I enjoy. I have been a motorcycle rider most of my life. In fact, it was during a down time in my life that I had to get basic transportation and that got me back into riding. About three years ago, I’d stopped for a cup of coffee on a Sunday ride and I met a man who had this great-looking bike: custom paint, fancy chrome added to it, personalized name painted on it. We sat and talked for about 20 minutes. At some point during our conversation, the realization hit me: I live a dream life, an ideal life that this man told me he envied.

This was not the first time that I was told this. Years earlier another friend told me that as well. His name is Ty. To me, he had the ideal life. He had sold his company for a large amount of money and would pay me to come and clean his cars once a week. He was a great customer – and not just because he had five cars and I was looking for weekly income. Each week, when I was done, he would invite me to eat dinner with his family. About two, maybe three times a month he and I would sit in his office and just talk. I was looking to pick his brain to grow my business. He would share things he knew with me (because he loved to do it) and I was one of very few people he would talk to for ideas and personal growth. Most people talking to him were looking for start-up money or a handout to bail themselves out of debt. I wasn’t; I just wanted to learn some of the things he’d learned.

I tell the story of those two men because they both said they wished for the life I had. I had no debt, lived on the small weekly amounts I made and was usually able to put away some for a rainy day. I was not a greedy person trying to figure out how to get rich. My life was simple: work small amounts of time and work smart to make the most of the time spent. I spent money and time wisely to live comfortably, without stress.

This, my friends, is why I do what I do. Why I write, speak, coach, and mentor people. I look for things that are out there, read them and bring my heart to those who have subscribed to me and befriended me. I want to write things and speak on things that help you live at peace on this earth. I’m going to break it down into four steps that will help you take those things in life that bother you and turn them into a peaceful, meaningful life.

1.  Identify a major challenge

We all have those things that seem to bother us, but what is it that really gets under your skin? Maybe it’s a health problem that you must live with. Maybe you are dealing with anger over changes in your life that you have no control over. No matter what it is, you must identify the major challenge or challenges in your own life.

For me it was having to deal with living with a form of epilepsy. I now know it is here in my life to stay, but for many of years, I battled to just make it go away. We all cannot just make some things go away. Sometimes we must find a way to live with them. So what is your major challenge?

2.  Think of ways to minimize the impact of this challenge on your life.

I’ve found two ways to go through this process. It is truly a thinking game on this one. Sure, you could tell me the problem and I could tell you an answer from my book of knowledge and experience. But then the answer would be mine and you would be back dealing with the problem. So I recommend you use your own thoughts to handle this, try a combination of the following to figure out a way to minimize the impact.

  • Meditation. This is your way of thinking about the problem and thinking of a solution, taking it step by step in your mind to see the end result.
  • Trial and Error.  This is taking an action based on thinking it through then analyzing the results. If something works, keep using it and find new steps to keep going. If something doesn’t work, then take a step back learn from it and make another choice.

3.  Motivation, Excitement, Reward

This involves finding ways to keep yourself motivated. For me it’s a certain playlist on my iPod, followed by other reading materials that boost my motivation. When something stops motivating me, I look for another way to renew the motivation. Once motivation kicks in, I’m excited to accomplish what needs to be done, I’m excited to work towards the goal. Then comes the reward. I give myself small rewards in life for reaching milestones along the way. I always make sure the reward matches the achievement (in other words, don’t reward yourself with a new car because you paid off a $1000 credit card.)

4.  Continue the process.

Life is a continual series of events. Just because you made it through this in life and have passed this test, doesn’t mean it’s over. You will find there will be more tests in life. It’s not all roses; there are some thorns. Being able to work through a major challenge makes the small challenges seem easy. As Ty used to say to me in his office, “Don’t sweat the small stuff; it’s all small stuff.”

I will leave you with one final quote today, from my mentor and a motivational great, Zig.

An optimist is someone who goes after Moby Dick in a rowboat and takes tartar sauce with him.”  –Zig Ziglar.

With that, I encourage you to always be an optimist. No problem is too great. You have the power inside you to change. If you don’t see it that way or don’t know how to change your attitude and see the difference it makes, call me or write to me and let me help. I’m committed to helping you achieve your dream life, to helping you find peace.

I’m Tim Gillette, Rocker Life Coach. Until next time Live… Love… Rock on.

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