What Are You Really Asking For?

As the first day of help week starts out, I want to ask you this question: when you ask for help, what are you really asking for? Think on that for a minute.

OK. Now think of a person in your life that has asked you to help. You jumped right in and before you knew it, you were doing all the work. How did that make you feel? They were not asking for help; they wanted you to do the job for them. I know everyone has seen the man on the side of the road asking for help, he has a sign that says something like “Lost my job. Can you help me get some food?” I see these from time to time. Yes, my heart goes out to them, but I want to really be able to offer the help they need. I don’t like to just give a hand out; I want to offer them a hand up. To really help them, not to do the work for them.

I know many people have a heart to help the homeless and this is not a post about them really not needing help, or what they should do, or how we should help. This is just an example. I have let people do the work for me before, too. I have asked for help and just let them take over and do the work for me.

But today my intention is to really look at what you mean when you ask others for help. Like last week when we really researched how to use our minds, this is about knowing what’s on our mind and learning to truly say it, or ask for what we really want.

A simple four-letter word like “help” could be taken to mean a lot. But to really get where you want in life, let’s start to be specific about where it is we want to go. When we are asking our buddy to help fix something on the house, are we going to help him and share in doing the work?

If you want to take it back to helping our kids, I recently had a chance to visit a family, where I saw the love that parents and children had for each other. The kids are now in their early twenties and have homes of their own, they are not married yet. They spend a lot of time with the parents, share life. But the parents have made it clear that they must live on their own. I also know of parents who try to do everything for their adult sons and daughters, and they still cannot handle life on their own.

Help in both of these cases is different. The first family helped the kids get a good education, made sure they had the best they could give when they were younger. But when the time came they said “You have your own jobs, and you now must have your own homes, your own lives.” The second parents help, they help by giving them a home to live in, they are still feeding them, they have their cars fixed. This is helping, but is it really helping? Try to look at two people in your life: one is doing well, has a job, is self-supporting. And another one needs support on a daily basis. Then ask yourself: what does one have that the other doesn’t?

Now to sum this up. What is true help?  Do you remember your favorite teacher from all of your schooling?  Can you tell why he or she was your favorite teacher? I remember most of my teachers growing up. There were some that taught good lessons, but they did not stick. I got enough information to pass the test and get out of there. Then there were the ones that had an impact on my life. It’s easy to name the ones we had in, say, high school, but as we get older can we name the ones from grade school who had a great impact?

For me it was Mrs. Stone, my 6th grade teacher. She worked hard with me to get me to change the direction that my grades were taking. She took the extra time to work with me after school, quizzing me, helping me to learn the answers. She did not just give me the answers; she helped me find the answers. For that, she is the one I remember the most. She understood the difference between helping people find the answers versus giving them the answers.

As a coach, this is the most important way I want to help. The first time I talk with someone in our coaching session, it’s all about asking the questions that get them to think. That gets them to find their own answers. It’s not about giving them a formula that gets them to a happy place. I want to help them, even if they never hire me. If they truly find help then they will always remember the role I played in it.

So I want to offer true help. Maybe you have looked at my pages, read through my services. Maybe the first thing you are wondering is “How can I afford to pay that for coaching?” Well I am here to help. We have a program that I believe is great for those who have a low budget, but who want help. The email coaching program has something that anyone can afford. It was designed to help people find what they need to do to live their purpose, with an affordable price.

We will be offering a special price to all those who sign up for email coaching in the month of May. You will also receive the free 30-minute life purpose coaching session.  Start to think about how your life could change for the better if you were to actually have you own life purpose coach? What more could you achieve?

That my friend is my way to help you.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time for you to Live the life you always wanted, Love what you do and who you spend your life with. We are here to help you become a RockStar in your world.

Do you want a free 30-minute life purpose coaching session?  Email me at tim@rockerlifecoach.com or call me at 214.616.8912. You have your nothing to lose and everything to gain.

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One thought on “What Are You Really Asking For?

  1. Hi Tim

    I believe that when a person asks for help, there’s room for a wide range of what that means. We’re all on the road to independance, but we’re all at different points and moving at different speeds.

    Sometimes the person asking does need someone else to take part of the load because it’s too heavy for them at that point. It’s like folding a circus tent- you may need someone to lift up enough on the canvas so that you can get out from under it enough to actually make some headway.

    And that’s genuine help too.

    That being said though, there is a point where helping an become enabling and using. And that’s the point where good boundaries become important

    Catherine
    Foresight

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