Kick Start Your Heart

The year was 1987. It was a wild tour with Motley Cruë on tour with Guns ‘n Roses. The bass guitar player for Motley Cruë, Nikki Sixx, had a very long history of trouble with the drug heroin. Nikki Sixx was partying with Slash from Guns ‘n Roses, I believe; he had way too much and overdosed. He was considered dead for a full two minutes, until an ambulance crew arrived. The leader of that medic team that night was a big Motley Cruë Fan. He is believed to have said one of his music heroes was not going to die on his shift.

I do not know the entire story because I was not there; I only read of it on news web sites, and in accounts by Nikki Sixx. What I can tell you is that most people who come back from an experience like that never forget it. Nikki Sixx wrote a song about it.

The band, Motley Cruë, is one of my favorites; it has always been. I use stories like this in my work and this is one of the things that makes the way I work with people in coaching stand out. I know many coaches, speakers, and motivators who would never have researched a story like this to use for their programs. Nikki is not exactly the kind of person who would speak at a local church. In fact, my personal experience growing up in church was always being pointed away from stories like this.

Nikki stands out to me because not only did his best years happen after this event, but some of his best happened after he cleaned up from the life of heavy drugs. As I have said his music will not make the church scenes. But his motivational story is one that impacts people – just like his life and music had impacted a paramedic enough that he vowed as a fan to kick-start Nikki’s heart because he refused to see him die.

Now let me tell you the story of another person I know personally who had a near-death experience like Nikki Sixx. Tim Newland is a friend of mine from the Dallas area. He is the current president of the Passion Riders chapter of the Christian Motorcyclist Association, in Carrollton, TX. Tim has had heart problems and has had a device implanted to help keep his heart working properly. A few years ago, before I met Tim, he was out on a motorcycle ride with some friends. Tim fell down in the parking lot where they were meeting and those who were with him claim he died that day. The riders took their own form of “we are not letting him die on our watch.” They all put their hands on Tim and prayed over him. He came back and now Tim, just like Nikki, lives a life that has much more passion than before.

So what is your passion in life? I hope for you that it will not take lying on the ground with friends praying over you, or an ambulance crew giving you two shots of adrenaline to make you come to life with passion. In this week where we are talking about standing out from the crowd to succeed, both Nikki Sixx and Tim Newland are people who stand out. So is it time to kick-start your heart?

I’m Tim Gillette the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time to live your dream, to love what you do and those you share life with. Kick-start your heart with passion to be the RockStar in your world.


Soul Surfer

If you have not seen the movie, Soul Surfer, I recommend it. When starting to plan out this week, this movie was not on my list of the things I had planned to use as an illustration. But after hearing someone who related their life to the story in this movie, I had to check it out.

The movie is about the story of Bethany Hamilton, a 13-year-old surfer who lost her arm in a shark attack. The movie shows her struggles to live with the new challenge in her life, learning to balance life as a surfer with one arm. It shows her, among other things, learning to help others who are afraid of the water after a tsunami hits.

Her story is a strong one when we think of those who struggle with a loss. They have to overcome some great struggle to succeed. When thinking of her story and the theme for this week, I wanted to add this movie as one to give life lessons on standing out. At the end the movie she is asked in an interview if she could go back to that day would she not go surfing? She replied she would still choose to lose her arm because now she can embrace more people with one arm then she could before with both arms.

In Dallas, we have a similar story happening now. The family of Lauren Scruggs is facing a similar loss. She lost her hand and an eye when she accidently walked into a spinning plane propeller in December. I have known her family’s struggles long before this happened. Her parents have chosen to take the trials they went through with their marriage and make a ministry out of it, helping others restore marriages as they did with theirs.

Some who struggle with a loss will give up the spirit that kept them chasing a dream. Others will take strength in the loss; they will find a new way to pursue the God-given dream that is inside of them. When they are able to see past the struggle, when they watch the dream come true, they will be like Bethany and say, “I would still give up that arm.” You will be able to do far more without the one thing that is taken than you were able to do with all still intact.

So, in your life, what have you lost? No matter what it is, you need to keep two things in mind that will support you to do the purpose you have yet to do on this earth.  It is that purpose that can be your driving force. In my own life, when I set out towards my own purpose I, had things fall into place to take care of things I had lost.

When you have a major loss like the one shown in this movie, there are two things you must keep in mind to keep going. They will help you to perform the purpose you still have on this earth. Remember, if you are still breathing, your job on this earth is not done.

So what are the two things we need to hang on to?

1.  Hope. That’s right. Even through loss, you need to be a person of hope. I have spoken on this subject many times. Those who have hope that a better purpose is coming along and start a journey to look for it with hope succeed and stand out.  I know that every time I had a business fail or when I woke up in the hospital after an epilepsy seizure, it was hope that it was going to be OK that got me back in the game. I knew that something better was coming along. Even when going down some deadend roads that left me having to start over again, hope was the thing I held on to that better days were coming.

2.  Spirit. No matter what it is you have lost, never lose the spirit and drive to find what it is you are to do now. I know when we were younger we were all told “You can do anything you want; if you want to be President of the United States some day you can.” We had that belief for a great life; we started making plans to see a dream of passion of purpose come true. The truth is those who achieve the dreams they had as a child all had to lose a few things along the way. We all had to walk up a few mountains along the path to make that dream come true.

So if you want to stand out, find the ways to keep your balance when life takes something from you. Life is always going to take you on turns that were not in your plan. You will have things taken from you. The way you handle it, the new things that you learn to do will be what make you stand out in a crowd of hundreds doing the same business you are. No matter what you have lost, use it to be the stand-out person in your world.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time to live your dream, to love what you do and those you share life with. It’s how you rebalance life after you lose that thing you thought you needed to be in balance that will make you the RockStar in your world.

Successful People Around You

The middle of the week has arrived and that means that our theme of setting up your environment is halfway done. Monday we introduced the idea that the world around us – our environment – makes the difference in our success and yesterday we talked about our home being set up for success. Today let’s take it to a higher level.

For the past 20 years no matter who I was working with, even when I was in the auto industry, there were several areas I would say that could predict the success of someone five years down the line. Among those things were the books or things they read; what they did with the time they had; how they used the money, tools and seeds they had been given. But there is one especially important thing and that is the people they hang out with.

As a young teen I was given the advice from my parents and those who wanted to see me succeed in life to never hang out with the wrong crowd. When it comes to our friends we spend our free time with, or those we choose to form partnerships with, the idea of keeping positive people who can help build our world is important. Focus on building friendships that can only help you get to the places you want to go. Keeping a friend around who is always looking out for you is great.

And it’s not one-sided, not just about what people can do for you. Too many times in life we can chase people who we need to help us and forget about those who we need to help. But then I have met people who are all caught up in the path of finding those that need the help and not having someone to hang onto to keep them up.

Building relationships is the word we want to use here. In many cases I am building relationships and helping people who may someday surpass my success. Someday I may need to reach out to them to get back up. I once heard that you should have two kinds of people in life: those who are mentoring you to make you better, and those you are mentoring to help them be better.

In the many outings that I attend and the places that I go to speak, I meet so many people who are looking for me to help them out. I am all too excited to help them. After all, the mentors in my life were quick to grab my hand when I needed it most. When I was building my last car wash business. I had a close friend who I speak of often. His name was Richy and, at the time, he had many small companies and ideas floating around, but was co-owner with his brother of one of the bigger packaging companies here in the Dallas area.

Rich taught me the meaning of helping. He was always telling me ways to make my business life better. At the same time I was meeting with three other people in the car wash business helping them get through the tough times and find the niche of clients that kept them working. We all build those relationships to keep us moving forward and to keep us humble.

But let’s talk about one more set of relationships: Family. Most of us have several people in this category of relationships.

Mate or partner. This is one of the most precious of partnerships and relationships you have. You fell in love and joined your lives together. For the most part you are on the same page, but as we discussed yesterday with setting our house up for success we have to consider each other and make it our life together. For Gwynne and me, it’s not hard. We fit together very well, but we still have different tastes and from time to time, to set our lives for success, we must compromise and come to a mutual agreement to keep that relationship strong. After all we grew up in different worlds and met and combined worlds.

Kids. If you have kids they are one very important relationship for you. If yours are younger, you need to spend some time doing what may seem like strange things they like to do. As they get older, you must mentor them and train them to go out into the real world and be able to handle it. Also realize they may grow up and become different than you are. I am still reminded of my Dad and his extreme politics. While I have some of his beliefs, other ideas I think he was too extreme on. Which brings me to my last family members.

Parents. In our house Gwynne’s father is part of the home we share. The joys that make his life are a big concern to her as he is not as young as we are. We have many great times together sitting down to play Scrabble many evenings, having him join us in different activities we do, attending events we all like together. The other part is my mom. She also is widowed now, but off serving on a mission trip overseas which she wanted to do. Our parents are not going to be with us forever. Like the relationships we build in mentoring, I often would talk to my dad about how to handle life. Remember, our parents experienced it once before; use their knowledge to set up your future for success.

In life we will have many relationships. There are those built on friendship to help us become RockStar success stories. There are those that will get cut short due to their time being up before ours. Each person you meet today is part of the environment of success you need for your tomorrow. So build those relationships; they will last longer than homes, jobs, or things.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time to live your dream, to love what you do and Love those you share life with. Build relationships that take you to a RockStar life.

Failure to Plan

It’s Thursday and we have just a few days left to our year, just a few posts left before 2011 is in the books. I reached one of my personal goals earlier this week. I still hope to reach one more but that one is up to you, my readers. I set a goal for how many posts I wanted to write this year. I reached it and will pass it by a few. The other goal I am still working to reach is about how many people read my blog (that is the one that is up to you). I could have written even more this year, but I got a late start because I was away from home for over two months helping my mom.

Today I was thinking about a few phrases that I have heard over the years about planning. They focus on how those who do not plan end up falling short in many areas of life.

Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

The one thing in life that brings about more trouble for people is when they do not plan for things in life. I know we all have unexpected things that will happen, but how many of us like to have a boss come in and tell us to do something because they forgot to? We hate having to do work that others failed to do for themselves. But, if we planned more, set more goals for ourselves and sooner we would reach those goals and exceed them faster. If I had gotten started on my goals for the year earlier I would not be playing catch-up in the last month; instead, I would have been able to take the last month off and relax while planning the next year.

Failure to plan, is a plan to fail.

I have heard this line so many times, it used to make me mad. But it had such truth in my life that I felt like sharing it today. When I was younger I was able to talk with someone who gave me a simple way to get a picture of what I wanted to do. He said, “Whatever you want to do, take a look at someone who has been doing it for 20 years or more and see if they live the life you want to.”

Because of those words of advice, I took that to heart by trying jobs or career paths on for size before going further. I enjoyed working in the auto industry for years and before I set out for a long path in any job, I would work with someone who was doing it to see what it was like. If I wanted to learn something new, I went and found the best person at the job that I could find to train me. Then I worked to be successful at it.

If either one of these quotes above ring true for you take these last few days of 2011 and think of how many times in the past you have forgotten to plan, failed to plan, or did not set yourself up for the unexpected. If you could have taken a few precautions would you have set yourself up for success? Well we cannot go back in the past and change it. But we can learn from those areas and set up a life where we are prepared for some of those unexpected things in the future.

When planning out where we are going in the next year, or the next five years we cannot take out the risk factor. In life we are going to have to take a few chances, but those who will be successful will take calculated risks.

Life will have some gambles to it, just in living. But to keep your risks back to a minimum, set yourself up to take them. Before taking the big risk make, sure you have enough to live on, until it pays off. If you are behind in life, be willing to work extra to get ahead. When you get ahead, stay there. There were times in my life that I got behind and, if I had to, I would work two jobs to get myself back on track.

This next year will have some failures; even if you stay in a safe zone, you will still fail sometimes. So it’s time to stick your neck out, but prepare for it so you will not end up asking others to help you out of it. After all, 2012 is your time to rock.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time to live your dream, to love what you do and those you share life with. Learn from past failures, plan your future and become the RockStar in your world.

What is hope?

What a great week on the subject of hope. I hope you have learned more about the word and its true meaning. Many people have sent me emails how this week has been uplifting for them.  When it comes to hope, it is a great thing when you are in business for yourself. So I want to make today’s post about the two words that were used in the president’s campaign in 2008: Hope and Change.

I like them together, for you see, when you use the word “hope” in your life, it should be about a change you are about to make. In life if you were to use hope in your life and you changed nothing to get it, well that would just be a waste. If you have not reached the goals with the tools you have been using, if what you have been doing has not worked, why are you hopeful for anything to change in your life. To get a different outcome, you have to change something.

We all have heard the old saying, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” Let’s put that in Tim Speak: if you want more out of life get off your butt and do something about it.

Another saying that goes well with this is: “I will do today what others won’t, and I will live a life tomorrow others will only wish they could have.” Well to get ahead in life you may have to do a few things that you do not want, like the years I worked washing and detailing cars at the car wash. I had to work at it to put money away to start my own business.

Recently, I heard the story of a man who was general manager/ owner of a business in the Dallas area. While most others in a job like his would sit back and enjoy the title that comes with the job he did not. He worked harder to get ahead and saved his extra money. Then when he had enough saved he sold out his portion of the business and went and started another business in another town. See, he learned to do what the corporate world asked him to do, he took his small ownership shares, and he saved his money.

I have always had the hope in my life that, with my work ethic, I could build my own world starting from anywhere. Many times that line of “hope and faith” did not work. I trusted the wrong partners, made bad deals that did not benefit me. If you want to get past this in life, you don’t short cut and start to scam people to get ahead. Hope in yourself and belief in your work will bring you to the place you want to be, it just takes time.

So, as we close out this week on hope, I want to know what is going to change in your life in 2012? If you have the hope that 2012 is going to be a good year then you need to have hope in a better year, but make the changes to make it better.  With that have a great weekend. Come back next week when our theme is “Five Reasons to Hire a Life Coach.”  See you then.

I’m Tim Gillette the Rocker Life Coach, it’s time to live your dream, to love what you do and those you share life with, have hope in the changes you are making in life and become the RockStar in your world.

Do You Still Have Hope?

Good Monday morning to you. It’s December and there are only four weeks left to our year – which leaves us with four more themes for this year. I decided I wanted to hit on four of the top themes of the past year, those that have made the most impact on people and have received the most feedback. That told me that you really needed it when I wrote it.

This week’s theme was the top one this year. In late March-early April of this year I posted a week about Hope and Change. I started the week with the story of my Dad then finished the week out with the word of people who made it through tough challenges and kept hope alive. These stories were all told from both my side and theirs.

We will do some yearend follow up and let you hear what has been going on with our guest bloggers from that week. I will also give you some lessons about hope. As the year winds down, the holidays are that time of year where more people get depressed than during the rest of the year.

Knowing that people are more depressed during the holidays than any other time, I wanted to bring hope to those who read this week. I did a speech last month about time and the fact that in the history of my life so many times I have heard the stories about how the world is going to end. I wanted to bring that up as we close this year out. Yes, I’m sure the world as we know it will end someday. But we must always be planning and looking forward to a brighter future.

I started my speech at last month’s B-Harmony Event here in Dallas with an old SNL favorite: Matt Fowley, Motivational Speaker. If you need a good laugh, take a view on YouTube now. In the skit, Matt was always working against himself trying to motivate those he was trying help. So I used him to start off the evening. We need to have hope, but so many of us are always looking towards the gloom and doom part. Right now, more people send me the links how in 2012 the world is going to end. Well, you still need to have hope.

I also tell how over the years I have heard this “end of the world” talk. Have you ever noticed that most of those people who claim to believe the world is about to end still have life insurance? It was the opposite of the picture I took of the church sign that read “Pray for rain and carry an umbrella.” More people tend to pray but seem to not have the faith to be prepared for the event to come to pass – whether good or bad. And I suppose for the people so focused on the end of the world happening, they see it as a good thing.

So, what is our lesson of hope today? No matter what happens we need to have hope in our own future. Your personal hope and faith in your own future is what will make it better. So take these three points today and apply hope to your life as we end this year and prepare for a new one.

1.  Hope is personal. I can tell you all the stories about it; in fact, I actually can prove to you where someone had hope in a better life and actually made a plan to make it happen and it did. But, like motivation, it only takes deep root when you apply it yourself. Take a look at your next year and make plans with hope that good things will happen. Don’t rely on what others can do for you. Have hope yourself and faith in yourself to make it happen.

2.  It’s not all roses. You are going to face tough times. They’re part of the journey and we live in world that is not perfect, will never be perfect. A year ago while planning my 2011, we has no idea that two months out of my year would be spent in the mountains of PA fixing up things at my mom’s house, helping her sort through those things that belonged to my dad and were no longer needed. When I said “Bye” to him last December, while visiting with him at my brother’s, I did not know the day that I shot that video would be the last time I would see him. But yet I still have hope in my future. This past year I have met so many new friends and new business partners that I did not know. I have worked to spend more time visiting my family members because we won’t all be together forever.

3.  You still have a purpose. I believe this: if you are alive on this earth, you still have a purpose and you need to serve. It is one of those things that I have learned in life; we have a purpose and need to be working towards that. Don’t what yours is? Maybe it’s time to schedule a phone coaching session to help find out. But here is a clue: it has something to do with what you are passionate about.

Take these three points and apply them to have hope in your life. We should have hope and that last point alone shows we have a purpose. Or as my childhood preacher used to say, “God is not done with you yet.”

The first blog in our March/April week on Hope and Change was from my mom and myself. You know about my year and where I’ve been since my father passed last December. My mother is now doing missionary work in Korea – something she had longed to do for many years. Even after the very difficult period of losing her husband of so many years and facing dealing with the house and other financial affairs, she is now doing something that has been her passion and her hope for a long time. So what are you still hopeful for in your life? Let me know. I’d love to hear from you.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time to live your dream, to love what you do and those you share life with. Have hope and always plan for a better tomorrow to be the RockStar in your world.

PS: Do you want to provide a guest post on our blog? We are looking for others who are experts and have something to write about in the following areas : Starting Over, Love and Relationships, Motorcycles, Online Income. If you have something in these areas, contact us for consideration.

Thank You

Good Thursday morning. I hope this week has given you a few things to be thankful for. Today is the start of the last month of the year 2011. If you’re following any of the superstitions that say the world is ending in 2012, you might be getting nervous now. Or maybe you are recovering after it was supposed to end two times in 2011, according to one family radio pastor.

As I have said before, I am starting to set up my life so that in December each year, I do only fun things, spend time with family and plan for the coming year. This week’s focus has been five words or phrases that you want to hear when you finish something, be it a project, or a goal, or a whole year. We all love to hear reinforcements that encourage us. We’ve touched on three of them already. Today we are going to cover the saying, “Thank you.”

In the mid ‘90s I worked at a car dealership in King of Prussia, PA. It was owned by David Penske, the younger brother of racing expert, Roger Penske. I mention him and his dealership because of one important thing that I learned while I was there. Each year, on the last day we worked before Christmas, at the end of the day we all gathered around in the service shop of the dealership. David Penske personally came down with envelopes in hand, and stood beside a van that was loaded down with frozen turkeys. Some looked forward to getting an envelope with a check in it for a bonus, others relied each year on that turkey for their family Christmas dinner. For me, the most significant part of that day each year was when Mr. Penske walked up to each of us, called us by name, shook our hand while giving us the envelope and said: “Thank you for your service this year.” Wow! The owner of the company came out of his office to personally shake my hand and say, “Thanks.”

I know we are in a big corporate world today and many will be lucky to get an email from the president or owner of their company. How much would that handshake and the owner of the company personally telling me “thank you” mean now? In those days, I was just a car wash and prep person on the body shop. All I did was wash the cars after they were painted and get them ready for customers to pick up. For that he said, “Thank you for doing what you do.” That made me feel like my job, no matter how small or insignificant it might sometimes seem, was important to him.

Now let’s apply this to our lives. I don’t care who it is in your life and what they do for you. When is the last time you told someone, “Thank you”? The person who mows your lawn, the person who cleans your house. The maid at the hotel you are staying at, the man who picks up the trash from your house. We can never hear the words “thank you” enough. We all have jobs in this world and at times they are thankless jobs. Rather than tell you to put together a gift for all those people who have served you like those listed above, develop a habit during the next year of thanking them each time you see them. See how the services you get improve over the next year as a result.

We all need to hear it more and, like the old biblical concept that says if you want more friends, be friendlier, if you want to be thanked more often tell more people “thank you” for what they do or give to you.

A few years ago when I was buying parts for a truck repair shop I dealt with a tire dealer named Brian. This is why I remember him: each time I bought something from him I thanked him for helping me find what I needed and getting it to me. He would always stop me and say, “No, thank you for giving me your business.” He was always thankful for the customers he had and treated then with thanks for the fact they gave him their dollars in business. So take these words to your world: Thank you.

And thanks for reading. After all, you – my readers – are the reason I have this blog. I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time to live your dream, to love what you do and those you share life with. Develop a habit of saying “thank you” and soon you will be considered the RockStar in your world.

” Failure”

As we close out our week on tools of success, there could always be a debate as to what tool is the most important tool in the tool box. Some could say motivation because you have to get something to drive you to succeed. Yes, we need something like a dream or a purpose to motivate us and nothing will start until you have that. Some will say education is the most important tool. Yes, we need to learn the ins and outs of where we are going to be successful. We are close to what I was thinking of but I’ve still got something else in mind.

When asked if he had ever failed, Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed; I just learned 10,000 ways that did not work.” So I would say that one of the most important tools to success is not succeeding: failure. This could be the biggest tool to help you realize your success in whatever you are searching for. I want to show you how it could be your number one tool. Let me give you five reasons:

1.  How you learn to handle failure will determine if you will succeed. The key to failure is to get up one more time and learn, then change your formula. If you cannot handle failure in your life, you will end up letting failure label you. How you handle it is a big key to you becoming a success.

2.  No matter how many times others tell you how to succeed, if you are a person who has to try new things all the time, you will only learn from your own failure. Some people believe it’s better to learn from the mistakes of others. As parents, that’s what we often try to do with our children: help them learn from our past mistakes or failures. Unfortunately most of us have to still get up and do it our way until we hit the wall several times. Some will even get up, and hit the wall again and again until we finally open up our ears to listen to what someone is telling us about how to succeed at it. Even my brother Nate told me things over and over; it wasn’t until I hit the wall myself enough to make it hurt that I finally heard it when someone else told me the same things he had.

3.  It can reveal things about ourselves we did not know. Even though others may have tried something and failed, we may have a personality where we just can’t let it go. So we do something others have failed at, then we fail at it. Sometimes that failure is the biggest eye-opener when we see the pattern of it repeatedly in our lives.

4.  When you want to invent something new you must do something that others have not done before or may have failed at. This may sound counter to what I wrote above but just because no one has worked out how to succeed at something doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Think about how many people tried to find a way to fly before different groups of inventors finally figured it out. Just yesterday I found out that with facebook’s new subscribe option I was able to subscribe to Tom (you know – that guy who invented MySpace). He has a facebook fan page and you can see how he talks of the failures of MySpace, of how he left the company and did not like the direction it was taking. He loved what facebook had done and he is using it to create some new business ideas now. There comes a time that things must change and you have to do it in a different way and that may mean you have to fail at it to make it work.

5.  It can bring wisdom of the greatest minds. In the Bible you can read of many famous men’s failures: David was a man after God’s own heart and he was known as a man of war and a hero. But he slept with another man’s wife and had her husband killed, which was a personal failure. Abraham did the opposite of what God told him to do. Paul was known as Saul who was the number one persecutor of Christians, and yet he wrote most of the New Testament. Great men are often created from failure.

Failure is something that is a great teacher of success. If you want to figure out what works, start with what doesn’t work. Build from there. More people have become a success in life at something because a well-meaning family member, pastor, teacher, coach told them they couldn’t do it. There is something about us that we just want to prove people wrong. It can become a motivation to prove them wrong, so we will fail and fail and fail until we get the right mixture to make it happen.

Edison went through 10,000 failures to make the first light bulb. I’m glad he learned from them. It would have really sucked if he hadn’t. Think about it: he had to make 10,001 light bulbs just to make one that could be used or sold. Use you failures as a learning tool to take you to your greatest success.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time to live your dreams, to love what you do and those you share your life with. Start to use failure as your tool to learn success and you will become the RockStar in your world.

On the Road Again

Last night my daughter and I were driving the car to an event and we were talking about the worries in life, how she could get past those things that seem to hold onto her from the past, how to deal with anxiety about the future. So we looked at the very road we were on and decided to use that as the metaphor for life and what she was dealing with.

Did you ever notice that when we get to thinking about the future we can become so worried about what is coming ahead that we forget the very gift we have right in front of us? The Present. Here in Dallas, many of the highways have six lanes of traffic, three in each direction. Then we have a feeder or access road that runs along side of it, usually another four to six lanes – two to four in each direction. We discussed how if you have three lanes headed in the same direction you usually have three different types of people that are riding. In the right lane there are people who are slower, for whatever reason, maybe just going from one short exit to another. The middle lane has people who are just cruising along about average speed. Then you have the far left lane of people who are more in a hurry and seem to be passing everyone.

In life, we can relate to our success the same way traffic is moving. If you are headed towards a goal or destination in life you can choose the speed you can travel. You can choose if you want to take the fast lane or the slow lane. You determine if you are headed towards the goal, if you are on the highway in the right direction towards success. You determine what the keys are for the road to success.

While we were traveling last night, we talked about the signs telling us what roads or exits were coming up and how, if you looked up to read a sign, the further away it is the harder to see, you find that when you take your eyes off the road and try to focus on the sign you may lose focus on your driving and not see a car you’re coming up on or other obstacle.

If you keep turning around to see what signs or roads you miss, you are not focused on the direction you are headed. If you are looking around, enjoying the ride (as we were in the middle lane) with space between you and the car in front of you, then you can be more relaxed as you drive. If you take the fast lane and just race to get where you are going you may miss your exit, or miss something important in life.

If you take the slow lane when you prefer driving faster, you could end up becoming frustrated if someone slows your progress (after all, we all want to control our own progress). If you took the feeder road to get there you would have to deal with a few stoplights, some slower traffic, maybe even a back up or two at a busy intersection. But if your goal was to enjoy the journey, as Gwynne and I do on our bike trips (every now and then she sees something interesting and wants to stop and check it out) on the feeder road you can do that.

In our case I knew what exit I had to get off at; I knew how far ahead it was, and could enjoy the drive. If we plan things out, get to know what the area is on our journey to success, then we will be able to go at what pace we want, and enjoy the here and now. Last night was the biggest “ah ha” moment on the trip. I don’t have to be anxious about the road ahead; I know where I’m going and if I didn’t know for certain, they usually give you signs two miles before your exit, giving you time to get yourself in position, or in the right lane to exit in time.

How does this story apply to tools of success? You cannot control the past because it is behind you. In your life if you are still focused on the road you already traveled you are wasting a great gift of the present. In life you can get a clue to what might be coming up, but we all know things change so there will always be some things that are unexpected. But we can watch for the signs. In the road of life there are signs that point you in the direction you need to go. If you look at your past you can see where you came from and then compare it to your future, if the road looks bumpy, change your course. Watch for the signs to get you to the right exit.

We all want success in our lives; we are all on a road to success. Some are still sitting on the ramp with a car in park wondering why it’s so hard to steer. Some keep putting the car in reverse trying to fix the past, and some are too anxious about where the future will take them. Set goals for your future; watch for the signs; take the middle lane and enjoy the ride. Every now and then, take a side journey and see what life has to offer. You will be surprised at the gems you find on the side of your road of life.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time to live your dream, to love what you do and those you share life with. Enjoy the journey to the destination. That is what being the RockStar in your world is all about.

Missed Opportunities

Good Tuesday morning to you. With the few short weeks left in the year 2011, getting things right for success in our lives is definitely something we should be working on. The idea of this week is to get you to find the tools for your success and make a success out of what you have. So many in life will miss the tools that have been placed in front of them because they a lack belief in their personal success.

The idea of missed opportunities came to me as I was reading responses to an invite I sent out for an event I was speaking at. I read a post that someone made in response to the invitation. The person who wrote this was a personal friend so I’m not going to point out the exact comment that was made. I’ll just use it an illustration of how we misread things that could be the very tool that we need for our next step in success.

When was the last time you half-read something and said “Now that is not for me.” A few months ago I was invited to an event that was a benefit. It was hosted by a women’s group. When reading the invitation I said, “I’m not a woman so this group is not for me.” Well, it was being hosted by the women’s group but it was not just for women. It raised money for a great cause for children – just like the biker events I attend that raise money for kids for different events over the holiday season.

In life, I have seen people read just one line then make a choice not to attend a networking event because it looked like it was a singles event or because it looked like it was for self-employed people and they work for a bank as an executive. Since they made this choice based on just a small amount of information, they usually get mad at you when a competitor of theirs gets a contract they could have gotten if they had showed up to the same event.

So in life, make sure you realize the things you are saying “No” to. On Sunday I was opening up my Facebook page to read about a friend that Gwynne told me went down on his bike over the weekend. The first thing I saw, however, was a good statement that my friend Sandy wrote on her facebook page: “I’m only responsible for what I say, not what you understand or think you hear me say.”

So before you get upset with that friend who watched the business you were supposed to get go to another company; or when you are upset that you did not get the invite to the place where you friends decided to announce his new program that you have been waiting to take part in, make sure you are listening to all the information coming in before you decide, “Oh, that is not for me.”

I am going to leave you today with another of my stories from my trip this year. I left to ride my bike to my mom’s house in the end of April; it was a multi-state trip. After I left, my Harley Riding group started a contest where you needed a picture of you your bike and a pamphlet at the state line. You had to be the first to that state with your picture to claim the state. Well, it was started after I left for that trip. I would have been the first to get every state northeast of Texas. But I was not reading to any of the chat boards, or attending the events that would have told me that was going to take place. So, when I returned home at the end of May I watched as so many were taking the trips to get those states I had just ridden through. Yes, I picked on my friend Jonathan and I told him he should have given me a heads up. But it’s not his fault I did not succeed. He was telling people but I was not listening.

In life you are the one who is responsible for your own success. If you have failed, if you have missed the chances that you should have gotten, well it’s not someone else’s fault. Wake up and start looking around you. The keys to success are more than likely right in front of you. While you may be sitting complaining about who beat you to it, or why you didn’t get the chance, others are climbing their ladder of success.

Many of them are doing it while working two jobs as a single mother, working overtime three days a week even when they wake up feeling sick. They do it while having to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, or eating off the dollar menu at McDonalds. They are not handed success; they are taking the life they have been handed and working with it to dig out of the holes they are in. They are building their own success with the bricks that others are throwing at them. What is your tool of success that you have missed this year? Are you turning on your hearing, opening up your eyes and feeling around to find the light switch to create a brighter tomorrow? Now is the time to do that.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time to live your dream, to love the journey you are on. Look around at the opportunities you are missing to become the RockStar in your world.